Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
