i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
