I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whod you bang
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
