I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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