Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
