Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
