i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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