I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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