Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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