Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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