Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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