i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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