Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love having hate sex.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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