I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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