I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
pop tarts are not kleenex
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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