Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
