How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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