Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
