last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
