it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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