Apparently you make a good broom.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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