Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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