You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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