she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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