Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
