Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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