I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
