There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
