I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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