she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
