If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
