I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
