Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dear god my vagina.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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