They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize