nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
