i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
