What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
