Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
smell my finger.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
