Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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