Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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