I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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