The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
