I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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