I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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