We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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