I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
