I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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