I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
