i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
