Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
