She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
