you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
