that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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