Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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