do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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