I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize