turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize