I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
