just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
