I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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