bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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