all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
