I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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