My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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